We are heading over to see Peter, who lives about 40 or so minutes from Squirrel Haven. We are headed over, and I am facing the same niggling reality that has been part of my life since birth. There is no reconciling the sort of relationship that I consider real, authentic, healthy & the one that the others are able to handle, which is a polar opposite.
Peter has been chomping at the bit for us to get over - we were last there a week ago, dropping by a picture of him, Mom, Whitney & Reynolds taken on another Easter Sunday, 30+ years ago. He is looking forward to giving me gifties he ordered, that he's sure will give me total delight. Knowing his track record at gift giving, I have no doubt he's right.
That's the sum total of what I can expect from, receive from the rest of my family - well, at least the ones willing to have any sort of connection with me, which splits pretty much down the middle. Difference between me in 2016 & me 10+ years ago is being able to take what I can get as the best of what is possible. Might not be able to reconcile the polar opposites, but I can accept with good grace that while it's not a relationship with any great depth or mutual understanding or ability to share much of substance, it is what it is. And recognize & appreciate that Peter is taking his own steps to meet in the middle.
This compromise is a niggling reality I've grown mature enough to embrace with open arms & a full heart, nothing held back.
I have learned that every relationship requires a "reaching out." I pray he really saw you doing that and was able to respond!
ReplyDelete