message received, not necessarily sent

Over the years, we've received countess messages, many of which touched us deeply, affecting us scores of years later.  Most of the time, we've long ago forgotten the actual wording, the context, the timing, often even who said it.  But those deeply-rooted can still be affecting us, how we see thing, how werespond.  The most stunning thing about such life-altering messages are how many were never actually sent.  

One of the best things we can do in our lives, one that's vital in our older years, is to step back & look at things we believe, that continue to guide our life path, and ask ourself one simple question - Does this make sense?  Really?

There's no need to remember who "sent" it, because we may be wrong.  That's not to say we didn't receive & process it & make it our own, all the while pinning the responsibility elsewhere.  But we might have totally misunderstood what the person was talking about or it might have been the most casual of comments that we misconstrued or it might have been something that originated in a mish-mash of unrelated gunk.  

There's no need to remember the sender, but there's every use in seeing if it works in the here & now.  

It's been thirteen years & it still shocks me that I learned in the last weeks of her life that Mom absolutely believed it's what we intend that matters, that what we do is totally secondary.  Even at 91, she held onto that belief with all her might - not only was it something she'd learned, she'd processed it as a  foundational truth of her faith.  Maybe no one else's, but definitely hers.  If she was to look at it & see that it didn't hold water...  well, what about all the years she'd spent believing?  

It's not easy giving up an outdated or just-never-true belief.  We're invested.  But it is essential.  

For a truly sobering thought, take a few moments to realize that there are people in your world who think you sent out a message, one you never intended.  So take what you believe with a grain of salt.  Occasionally step back & ask yourself, "Does this make sense?"  And if you're tempted to slam another person for a message they sent, pause & remember - it ain't necessarily so!