balancing act

It's so easy to say, "I'm not having contact with this person because s/he is toxic to my life."  But then I remember - good homeopath that I once was - that a bit of what can be toxic can actually be healing, when properly compounded with other ingredients.  

There are people who hold me at arm's length because they experience me as toxic.  That makes me sad, but it is their choice.  There are others who seek contact, but apparently only to meet their needs, not because they seem to simply seek connection.  That's a challenge.

For me, there are people with whom I'm constantly refining a personal balancing act of contact, but not so much it feels poisonous.  They are worth it.  Wish that was possible with everyone who matters in my life, but will be grateful for the ones I have.

And mega mega mega grateful that Mim & I were able, over the last few years, to partner up & create a relationship that hopefully worked as well for her as it did for me.  Interesting, realizing things like actually getting together didn't work for us, ditto even talking on the phone, but mail was a godsend.  Will always miss John coming in the door, all smiles, waving an envelope & saying, "You've got a letter from Mim!"

Between the two of us, Mim & I found a place that felt okay.  Holding this in my heart as a benchmark in balancing.  

May I find ways to duplicate - in different ways - additional relationships with folks who matter; whose presence, however distant or slight, helps make for a full, wholehearted life.